I wish I could but I can't
by cloloveswah
Summary: Alice Trevanion wants nothing more than to go home to to Africa. She's excited and ready to go when she receives a disturbing letter. Lost, confused and terrified she pretends she wants to live in the UK... Will she tell Danny the real reason she can't?
1. Chapter 1

**I wish I could come home... But I can't.******

**Alice Trevanion wants nothing more than to go home to Leopards Den, to Africa. She's excited and ready to go when she receives a disturbing letter. Lost, confused and terrified she pretends she simply wants to live in the UK... Will she tell Danny the real reason she can't?**

She paced uneasily through the house as she bit her non-existent nails; she only ever did that when she was really nervous but how couldn't she be? She'd dragged her Husband away from the place he loved on a lie... The lie that she simply wanted to live in this dull, boring country. Slowly, she sat down upon the light pink, leather armchair and signed before resting her clasped hands in her lap, her eyes gazing over towards where Robert lay. She couldn't have told him over the phone, she just couldn't. She'd promised herself she would but how the hell could she? This wasn't just a tiny hiccup - this was huge!

She knew he'd be arriving any moment. He'd called from the airport to say he'd be with her soon and not to worry about anything, it'd be ok. She shook her head; if only he knew. She sighed, she really did need to tell him but how? How do you tell your husband that kind of news? _Oh so, Hi Danny... Yeh, I'm sorry but I can't go home to Africa cos I'm needed here. Yeh, they want to cut me open and rip out my womb. You don't mind do you?_ Alice laughed to herself sadly, yeh right. Still, at least he was coming and that meant more to her than anything else. In a selfish way it made her feel so special and so loved. That given the choice with no reason as to why, he choose her and their kids, their marriage over work, animals and Leopards Den.

Alice's thoughts were broken by the door bell ringing. She jumped up and quickly straightened out her blue jumper before rushing to the door. As she walked she brushed one hand through her hair, pulling it over her right shoulder. She swallowed once before opening the door slowly; she couldn't help the slow grin that had spread across her face as she observed him. He too was grinning, his green eyes shining as he dropped his bags and took a step towards her.

"Hey you..." Danny smiled as he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey." Alice whispered as she clung to him unsurely. For the first time ever she felt uneasy around him. Usually he radiated confidence and they got on so well. Even after an argument, nothing was ever awkward, not really. Danny frowned as he noticed her discomfort.

"What's wrong?" Danny asked pulling back slightly, his hands falling to hold her hips securely. "You seem nervous?"

"I am." Alice admitted quietly, feeling ashamed of her emotions. "I've dragged you away from the place you love."

"No Alice, no you haven't!" Danny protested, "You are my wife. I love you and Robert and Charlotte more than any place. You are infinitely more important. Yes of course I was sad to leave and of course I'm going to miss it but our marriage is more important and the pain of missing you is one hundred and ten times worse. So no more nerves ok?"

"Ok... Sorry." Alice replied sheepishly, her voice tight with emotion. She realised in that moment that he did love her; but that didn't make telling him any easier did it? "I'm just so glad you're here." She whispered hugging him once more, this time with ease and familiarity.

"I'm glad I'm here too..." Danny murmured before kissing her ever so gently, "So, where's Robbie and Charlie?"

"Charlie is at school..." Alice laughed nudging his arm gently as he followed her into the house. "And..." She teased, dragging out the vowel as he dropped his bag, "Wee Robbie is is in here."

Alice took her husband's hand, leading him lovingly into the lounge where Robert was still sleeping. Danny gasped as he saw him, his green eyes glistening once more as he cast his eyes upon his son. He gently ran his fingers over his son's body, smoothing his son's hair gently.

"He's grown so much... I can't believe he's nearly four months old already." Danny whispered, "He's so beautiful."

"He looks more like you everyday." Alice whispered back, her head resting on Danny's shoulder for a moment before she stood up properly, "Do you want a drink?"

"Please. Coffee?" Danny replied as he carefully picked up Robert, holding him close and soothingly. Alice felt her heart jump as she watched them. Nothing could be more beautiful than the site of her husband and their son bonding. She sighed before turning quickly and rushing into the kitchen to make the coffee. She gulped as she noticed the gynaecology appointment card on the fridge and the tear stained letter on the side. She spun round checking Danny was occupied before stuffing them in a drawer. She had to find a way to tell him. But how? She shook her head, not today. He was tired. Tomorrow. She'd tell him tomorrow or at least before her next appointment. After all, he had a right to know that Robert would be their first, only and last child.

**A/N - Hope you enjoy! Question is, will Alice tell Danny?**


	2. Chapter 2

Alice lay awake that evening, unable to sleep. Danny had dropped off into a deep sleep almost immediately; the exhaustion from his flight had caught up with him around tea time but Danny being Danny had refused to go to bed early, insisting he'd stay up to talk to Charlie. She could feel his breath washing over her neck each and every time he exhaled, his arm was also tightly wrapped around her, holding her close as he rested peacefully. Alice closed her eyes savouring this moment. The serenity of it all. She felt safe; all her many worries and woes floating away as she felt his arm readjust slightly as he moved.

It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It wasn't even that she didn't want him to know about her health as to why she felt she couldn't tell him. It was fear. Not of Danny himself but of his reaction. She couldn't bear to see his panic, his worry or his pained expression; but most of all, she couldn't bear to see him cry; the time tested proof of suffering. Of course, she'd seen him cry many times; in both joy and sadness. He'd cried a lot actually in front of her and indeed she did love him for that... The fact he wasn't afraid to show his emotions, his sensitivity. It's what made her love him but tears over her? No. She couldn't handle being the cause of that beautiful man's pain. He'd already lost one wife to cancer... And now here he was again, unbeknownst to him, with a second wife who unless she acted fast would also be facing the same uphill battle.

Suddenly, a cry pierced the air, disrupting her thoughts. She smiled softly before slowly untangling herself from Danny and getting up. He grumbled, slowly opening his eyes before realising what was going on.

"You want me to?" Danny's sleep laden voice asked, his words slurred together through exhaustion.

"No, it's ok." Alice smiled, "You need your rest."

Danny simply nodded before sleep once more took hold of him. Alice chuckled slightly before picking Robert up; he was hungry. She yawned tiredly as she took him downstairs to prepare a bottle in the kitchen. She'd got him on the bottle pretty early; after all Danny couldn't exactly breastfeed could he whilst she was in hospital. This whole thing had come as a complete and utter shock to her. She thought everything was ok, going smoothly, especially considering she'd just given birth. It was the last thing she expected to hear; cancerous cells. There was no danger in terms of Robert; he was completely fine, not it was her; she was the one in trouble. Nothing even seemed different; not really; but that was just because she was pregnant and didn't have the chance to tell if anything was different. The only tell-tale she might have had was pain during sex but with Danny in South Africa how on god's earth could she have known? The doctor had hoped it hadn't developed too much but it had. A cone biopsy was out of the question. She had to go the full hog and have the hysterectomy; it was her only option.

"Sssh Robert." Alice whispered as she fed him, "I'll tell your Daddy... it's just hard." She murmured gazing over to the fridge where she'd stuck an abundance of pictures. Happy photos at Leopards Den; with the family, at their wedding, with the animals. Other photos were in the UK; some of their honeymoon and some from when Robert was born. Danny was grinning on them all... in most of them they were sharing some form of contact. Love radiated in every photo. She sighed... those days would return one day.

Half an hour later and Alice was climbing back into bed beside Danny. She swallowed as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, smiling as she felt him spin and pull her close.

"Love you..." Danny slurred through his sleep, "my Alice."

Alice simply giggled as she closed her eyes; she was home.

**A/N – Short chapter but I didn't want to blag it out :') I'm loving writing this! **


	3. Chapter 3

"I was thinking of going out today..." Danny said as he stood up and walked over to the sink, placing his bowl in the steaming water that was ready, "You know, see about getting a job and stuff."

"There's a couple of practises in town." Alice told him from where she was stood sorting out the washing. "There's also a specialist large animal clinic towards the outskirts. They treat mainly farm animals though I heard the zoo might be contracting work out to them. You could head there I suppose too." Alice paused a moment to turn the washer on, "With your experience they'd be crazy not to take you on."

"So..." Danny replied, a smile on his face at his wife's genuine pride in him, "Mrs Trevanion, what are your plans for the day?"

"I don't have any as such." Alice replied, "Need to go shopping..."

"I'll come with you." Danny smiled eagerly.

"You're meant to be getting a job." Alice laughed, "Which reminds me... does your CV need an update?"

"Ah..." Danny beamed sliding over to stand in front of her, "See I am one step ahead. In this briefcase..." He beamed reaching behind her and grabbing it... "Is the new updated version of Daniel Trevanion's CV!" He withdrew the paper and proudly showed her, allowing her to read through it carefully.

"Hmm... very productive." Alice teased, "This looks great." She murmured as she handed him a copy of his CV back, "Very professional."

"I know." Danny winked before wrapping his arms around her, "So... how about I drop you in town, you can have a wander through the shops there then when I've been and dropped these off, I'll come meet you and we'll go shopping."

"Do you know you're way?" Alice enquired obviously worried about him getting lost in the unfamiliar area.

"Not really..." Danny admitted laughing as he readjusted his arms, tightening his grip on her.

"I'll drive you then." Alice replied tickling his back, she giggled as she felt him squirm, "I've missed doing that."

"What? Making me scream like a girl or look like I'm trying to impersonating a drunk worm?" Danny replied in a mock moodiness.

"Yes." Alice replied with a smile, "Come on, we might as well go. Tuck your shirt in though and wear your black shoes, the shiny ones."

"Yes Mum..." Danny droned, mimicking other times they had said it to each other. She laughed as he released her and pretended to slope off. She was surprised at how chilled and relaxed he was. She'd been expecting him to be missing Leopards Den but as of yet he seemed quite happy. Then again, he'd not been here 24 hours. Alice sighed... she had to tell him.

(x)

Two hours later and the family were wandering through Sainsbury's together. Danny was complaining about how busy and rude everyone was and with every moan Alice felt her heart shred. He didn't belong here... this wasn't where her husband should be; hell! It wasn't where she should be. They belonged in Africa; she wished they could go there.

"Why's everyone so freaking rude." Danny grumbled, "I don't think I like shopping."

"I hate it." Charlotte whined, "Stupid Brits."

Alice sighed sadly as she led the way towards the bread aisle. It was heaving with people all bustling, trying to get what they needed. Even Robert had a look of pure dismay on his face and he was a baby! She shook her head and turned her attention back to her family. Danny had placed his hand on her back as they squeezed past everyone.

"Why do they put up there?" Alice asked in annoyance as she noticed their usual bread on the top shelf. Danny laughed and reached up for it, taking it without even fully extending his arm.

"There you go..." He beamed leaning close to her, "Short arse." He murmured.

"Oi!" Alice exclaimed hitting his chest playfully, "Come on, let's escape."

"We finished?" Charlotte asked excitedly bouncing with excitement. She let out a whoop as her Mum nodded. They quickly made their way to the heaving check outs, placing all the shopping on before waiting for their turn to arrive. Danny began to play with Robert, playing peekaboo which seemed to have Robert in hysterics. Alice smiled watching them, one hand on Charlotte's shoulder as mother and daughter watched.

It wasn't long before all the shopping was done and everything was packed in the car. Danny had suggested they went into the town centre itself and have a wander around the shops; he'd admitted he would like to buy a new coat and so Alice had agreed that it would be a good idea. Charlotte had arranged to meet one of her new friends at River Island. Alice was glad Charlotte had made friends, she'd been worried that she wouldn't. But Charlotte had proved popular and had loads of friends. Charlotte didn't forget her family though and insisted that she'd be coming home with them. Alice handed her a twenty pound note; Charlotte grinned and hugged her Mum at her unusual generosity; usually she was lucky if she got a tenner!

"Danny..." Alice began as they walked through the town square towards where more clothes shops were situated.

"Yes?" Danny asked looking at her; he was wheeling Robert's pram and had been pre-occupied with talking to his son. He's such a good Dad Alice mused.

"Are you happy?" Alice asked him, "It's just..." She paused and Danny stopped walking naturally causing Alice to halt too, "I didn't expect you to fall into this life so easily. You've just taken it in your stride... I thought you'd really miss Africa and keep referencing it."

"Alice..." Danny sighed looking down before raising his eyes to hers after just a moment, "Of course I miss Africa. I miss everyone there but I've been missing you more. You and Robert and Charlotte, you all need me. You're more important."

"That doesn't answer my question though does it Danny?" Alice argued, "Are you happy?"

"As happy as I can be..." Danny replied. Well that honest was it not? He was as happy as he could be in the UK. This place wasn't him and part of him wondered why Alice did want to stay here. He didn't ask though. He'd ask her one day when they were home again.

"I'm sorry." Alice whispered shaking her head, "I feel so guilty... so guilty."

"Alice you don't need to feel guilty! You need to be here, that's fine." Danny replied.

"I need to tell you why." Alice insisted, "It's only fair."

"You told me why..." Danny replied, "Robert, your brother..." He gestured onwards with his hand, "Besides, I don't need an explanation..."

"Yes you..." Alice began but before she could continue, she noticed Danny stand taller, his eyes wide, his grin wider still. She frowned and turned to look behind her and that was when she saw him and without even thinking she too began to smile.

He looked so much different, so much more mature and grown up. He was lean yet muscular in physique, his hair was now cut a little shorter, no longer a teenage boy flop. His clothes were smart and well pressed and his eyes were intelligent. The gangly boy she'd once known had grown into an impressive and good looking young man.

"EVAN!" Danny shouted waving madly. Evan turned and gasped, running up to Danny without even saying goodbye to his friends who he was walking with.

"Danny!" Evan laughed, "Oh god! It's so good to see you!" As the two embraced Alice smiled warmly. Evan pulled away and turned to Alice. He'd not seen her since she was pregnant and so embraced her also, kissing her cheek for good measure. "It's good to see you too Alice."

"You too." Alice smiled softly, "Meet your wee brother."

"Robert..." Evan said delicately as he cast his eyes down upon his baby brother who was sleeping soundly, "He is beautiful..."

"Why don't you come over tonight?" Danny exclaimed, "We could cook you tea? Couldn't we Alice?"

"Aye! You should come over." Alice replied.

"Great!" Evan grinned, "I have a lecture now but I'll get a taxi straight up!"

"See you later then." Danny nodded as Evan rushed off to meet up with his friends. He watched proudly before wrapping his arm around Alice. She smiled and leant into him. "I can't believe how grown up he is!"

"Aye." Alice replied, "He's a different lad." She was happy to see Evan too but part of her was unhappy too. She'd built her confidence up to tell Danny about her... she swallowed, illness and then Evan came. She loved Evan of course she did and she wanted nothing more than to see him and for Danny to be happy. But that was the problem. She couldn't tell Danny today now. He was too happy. She sighed, tomorrow. The day before her appointment. She'd tell him then.

"Let's get me a coat..." Danny beamed excitedly, "Keep me warm when you're not around..."

"Charmer." Alice smiled, "How about that little shop there. They sell suits and stuff too."

Danny nodded and led her forward. Alice bit her lip; she HAD to tell him... and soon.


	4. Chapter 4

As promised Evan had arrived soon after his lecture had finished at five and almost immediately the entire family had fallen into a sociable atmosphere. The love floated around the room as they all socialised leisurely. Evan was playing with Robert who appeared to have taken quite a liking to his older brother as Charlotte did her homework across from them. Danny was cooking a stir fry as Alice good naturedly argued with him as to whether there should be any ginger put in. Danny insisted it was much better with ginger whilst Alice argued it was disgusting with ginger (even though it was a well known fact she'd eat it). Eventually, after amusing their children with their own immature argument, they had come to 'a deal'. Danny was to put a pinch of ginger into it and no more or Alice had insisted she would not be eating it.

"So Evan... how's university going?" Alice asked as she pulled the plates out of the cupboard and set them on the top ready for Danny to serve, "Still loving every minute?"

"Yeh... it's going great! Had some awesome parties." Evan grinned as he bounced Robert on his knee to amuse him, "But the work's good too... so glad I chose to do zoology and conservation."

"You think you'll return to Africa then?" Alice asked him, moving out of Danny's way so he could serve up the stir fry.

"Yeh... I love it there. There is home." Evan smiled without thinking. Alice felt her breath rush from her. _There is_ _home._ She bit her lip, swallowing thickly.

"Great stuff." Alice said softly before turning to Danny, "All served up?"

"Yes, so please take your seat! Charlotte put your homework away love, don't want it getting dirty or anything."

"Ok." Charlotte replied smiling at Danny as he began to place the plates down on the table, ensuring he left himself until last before sitting down. As he sat down, everyone began to eat.

"This is awesome!" Evan beamed, twirling some more onto his fork, "I didn't know you were a cook Danny? You never used to cook... oh wait, accept for your famous..." Evan paused and adopted a 'Danny' stance, placing on a northern accent, "Greek salad aladani..."

Everyone began to laugh heartily at his somewhat accurate impression of his stepfather. Even Danny himself was laughing, looking down at the his plate sheepishly as he realised just how precious he was over his cooking. Alice noticed and with a soft while, ran her hand over his forearm. The gentle touch was all Danny needed to raise his eyes to meet hers; no words followed as both people smiled at one another, the love between them crackling like electricity in the air consuming all around them.

"Are you ok with him Evan?" Alice asked her stepson softly as she noticed Robert was still resting in one of his arms. Evan nodded with a soft smile.

"I think he's comfy."

"Figures." Alice laughed with an affectionate smile thrown Charlotte's way as she remembered how Charlotte used to be at his age. She sighed before beginning to eat once more, keeping her mind free of all troubles as she once again spoke with her family. Enjoying the union.

The night soon wore on and the time for Evan to return home came. Robert and Charlotte had gone to bed a couple of hours before and so Evan's goodbye only seemed to appeal to Danny and Alice although he had gave Charlotte a hug and Robert a kiss on the forehead before Alice had put them to bed. After that, Danny and Alice had spoken to Evan about anything that had come up. Danny had enjoyed sharing a 'legal' drink with his stepson, indeed so much that when Alice refused an alcoholic beverage he did not think to question her. Alice supposed he was probably used to it; after all, when she was pregnant she hadn't been able to drink at all and had often refused at the offer of such.

"You take care of yourself Evan... don't be a stranger." Danny told him softly as they stood at the front door. "No excuse now."

"Try keep me away." Evan grinned, "Especially with Robbie and Charlie here... although Alice can you cook next time?"

"You cheeky..." Danny began.

"Of course I will Evan." Alice laughed patting Danny's back gently.

"Take care." Danny whispered before pulling Evan into a tight hug. Evan held onto his stepfather tightly wondering to himself if there would ever be a time that Danny's hugs wouldn't make him feel better. He barely spoke to his Dad these days (not that he'd disclosed this to Danny) and in his heart, he couldn't help but feel a longing... a longing that Danny was his biological father. Still, he was his Dad, no matter what.

"I will, you too." Evan smiled as they pulled away. Before he could even pause, Alice had pulled him into a hug, laughing as she realised how tall he'd gotten.

"You're growing up..." Alice said softly as Evan bent down, wrapping his arms around her, "Work hard, play hard... come get your dinner but leave your laundry."

"Yes Mum." Evan laughed as she released him, "I'll see you guys real soon yeh?"

"Definitely! See you soon!" Danny and Alice said together as they waved, watching him out of the house.

Danny grinned, shaking his head before taking a deep breath. He couldn't believe how far Evan had come and he truly could not be more proud of him. Alice had already chosen to walk away, moving towards the stairs. Danny suddenly felt his heart expand as he watched her; his love for her was almost painful as he felt fit to burst from the passion within himself. The sure swagger of her hips as she walked and her cool, confident grace; he shook his head before rushing over to her, spinning her round surely and kissing her, before she could quite muster up any response, heatedly and passionately.

"What was that for?" Alice asked as he pulled away,

"Because I love you..." Danny murmured seductively, kissing her collarbones lightly; teasing her.

"I love you too." Alice replied sincerely, "But..." She sighed and pushed him away, "Not tonight."

"Come on Alice..." Danny whined, continuing with his embrace, "It's been ages."

"Danny I'm exhausted." Alice complained, panic rising as he forced her into an impossible position. She began to prepare herself; prepare herself to tell him the real reason why before he pushed her to the point of no return. It wouldn't take much; she'd missed the physicality of their relationship immensely and in the past, tired or not, he had never ever failed.

To her surprise he pulled away immediately; her breath caught momentarily as the fear that he'd go off on one took hold. She was in for a surprise however, as instead he gently pulled her into his arms, pulling her close and simply standing with her for a few moments in silence. She didn't dare speak and so instead, simply buried her head into his chest, closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Danny soothed, "Of course your tired and well your body is probably still recovering a little bit. I didn't mean to rush you."

"You're not rushing me Danny..." Alice replied, "I just... I want it to be special. Not half-hearted or rushed."

Danny smiled, kissing her gently before taking her hand, "To bed madam?"

"On one condition." Alice smiled. "You promise cuddles..."

"Cuddles?" Danny asked as they ascended the stairs together, "Alice Trevanion are you going soft?"

"Not soft... just realise how much I love you... how much I need you..." Alice admitted as they walked into their room together.

Danny stood for a moment, simply watching her as she let go of his hand and began to float around the room. He sighed, he didn't know why she loved him or why she needed him of all the men in the world but he did know one thing. He would do anything in his power to ensure that fact never changed.


	5. Chapter 5

Danny swallowed nervously as he straightened his tie out. He was sat in the waiting room at the zoo's offices; he'd been offered an interview on the spot when he'd turned up about the possible head vet position and now here he was waiting for his moment to come, he'd done the interview and now he was waiting to find out if he had the job. He clasped his hands together in the vain hope he wouldn't be waving them about, in Alice's words, like he was trying to land a plane. He smiled as he thought of her; it was an automatic reaction until sadness infected him. That had all been at home... at Leopards Den. He wished he was there now instead of in this stupid zoo. Still, he needed a job and this was as close as he was going to get.

"Mr Trevanion." The receptionist called, "You can go through." She smiled.

Danny stood up ,thanking her and taking a deep breath. This was it. He found out if he was working with the magnificent animals he was used to or whether he was more than likely going to be looking after overfed dogs and pampered cats. He saw down nervously in front of Christopher Parker; the manager of the zoo and the man who had his future in his hands.

"Danny... I'm not gonna beat around the bush here. You're experience is beyond belief and I'd be crazy if I didn't offer you this job. If you want it, the job is yours. You start tomorrow."

"Yes... thank you!" Danny grinned shaking Christopher's hand as the two men stood.

"I'm glad to welcome you onto the team Danny... I think we can do some amazing work together." Christopher nodded, "I'm interested in getting animals back in the wild as much as I am in their conservation. I'm no businessman just an animal lover. I feel you're the same... leave business to Anne Bailey, the business manager."

"I agree." Danny smiled, "I'll be here first thing tomorrow."

"I look forward to working with you." Christopher smiled before showing Danny out his office. "See you tomorrow."

"Yes... see you tomorrow." Danny smiled before walking outside and swiftly to his car. He paused a moment outside, smiling as he noticed a giraffe. "Alice." He whispered to himself before climbing into the car. He fished his phone out of his pocket quickly calling his wife... she was going to be so pleased.

"How did it go?" Alice asked before he could even say hello, he smiled to himself...

"It went well but..." Danny sighed and paused, smirking slightly to himself.

"Oh Dan..." Alice began but was interrupted by Danny who struggling to contain his laughter spilt the beans.

"They offered me the job, start tomorrow." Danny exclaimed laughing.

"That's fantastic!" Alice told him, her tone full of happiness. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, do you want a take away to celebrate?" Danny asked, "I know it's not the coolest celebration..."

"It's modest, it's us." Alice smiled, "And it's cool as long as you get me Chinese."

"Perfect." Danny smiled, "I'll pick it up on the way home."

"Ok... see you soon?"

"Sooner than soon." Danny said grinning widely to himself as Alice disconnected. He sighed before leaning back in his seat looking out to his new place of work. It wasn't quite Leopards Den but it was close enough he supposed. It would still be working with wildlife rather than pampered pooches! Alice got what she wanted to... a year in England to be with her brother and his support. He quickly thrust the car into gear before setting off, eager to get home to his wife and children.

(x)

Alice threw her head in her hands as she lowered herself down onto the steps. How long could she keep up this pretence that everything was ok? God, he'd hate working at that zoo, he liked seeing animals run free, and he was used to seeing them run free; for crying out loud, he was used to them interrupting the most intimate of moments between them never mind just walking past them on his way to work or on his morning stroll.

She was happy for him... of course she was. He had a good job where he could work outdoors not just in a surgery and by the sounds of it did offer some challenges but she couldn't help the guilt that riddled her. She didn't even know why she found it so hard to tell him anymore. She had a hospital appointment through... 2 weeks to discuss the operation; practically her pre-op. She sighed... she WOULD tell him... eventually.

**A/N- Filler just to give Danny a job :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Danny was miserable. His new job was ok but it wasn't the same; seeing animals in cages. He hated the UK, he hated Zoo's, he hated the traffic, he hated it all! It wasn't that anything had changed or that it was even all that bad but compared to the serenity of the African wilderness it was like hell. He knew he had to be here and Alice didn't purposely drag him away from Africa, she did have a sound reason; she needed to be with her brother. Understandable. He sighed as he hit yet another traffic jam... typical, and it was only 8 in the morning! He had the day off... for once.

(x)

"Yes, I know." Alice sighed into the phone, "I'll be there..."

"Excellent. See you then Mrs Trevanion." The receptionist replied as Alice mumbled a goodbye, placing the phone down. She inhaled shakily. A reminder about her up and coming appointment as if she'd have forgotten! You don't exactly forget that kind of appointment do you? Not by choice anyway Alice mused. She wished she could just tell Danny but it was so hard, scary...

"Mum... will Danny be back?" Charlotte asked, her mouth full of toast.

"Don't talk with your mouth full... and yes, look he's here now." Alice replied softly noticing the car pull into the driveway. Moments later, a grumpy Danny stalked through the door.

"God... too much traffic!" Danny grumbled throwing the shopping bag full with the essentials such as bread and milk in. "I hate this bloody place... It's the thought I could be in Africa driving around with no hassle!"

"Well don't let me keep you..." Alice mumbled turning her back on him.

"I wasn't saying that." Danny growled, gritting his teeth together, "It's just so busy, five traffic jams in a short distance. Everyone is rude, the work is rubbish. It's horrible seeing animals in cages..."

"Yeh, I get it Danny, you hate London." Alice replied moodily folding some washing, "I'm sorry for making you live in such a terrible place."

"Why are you so touchy?" Danny asked her, "Either way, I'm taking Charlotte to school... calm down whilst I'm out yeh?"

"Whatever." Alice spat ignoring him as he shouted on Charlotte who shouted a quick goodbye to her mother as she left. Alice returned it before turning back to her housework.

As they drove Charlotte looked to Danny; he didn't look very happy she mused. She'd heard her Mum's rant at him; she seemed unusually on edge.

"I'm sure Mum didn't mean to hurt you Danny..." Charlotte spoke up.

"She doesn't..." Danny smiled, "She's just stressed."

"But... don't you think that was a bit OTT? She's not usually so stressy, maybe you should take her somewhere, spend the day together. Uncle Rowan's coming over today to see Robbie!"

"She does seem a bit on edge." Danny agreed, "I'll take her for dinner... Promise." He smiled, "She isn't usually so bad." He murmured as they arrived at the school gates. He quickly handed Charlotte some money before sitting back. "Have a nice day Charlie." Danny smiled as she kissed his cheek. He smiled, waving her off before driving back to the house.

(x)

Alice sighed, she'd been harsh on Danny. Think of the devil she mentally thought as he walked through the door. He smiled softly at her, taking his coat off before making his way over to her.

"I'm sorry..." She began but was swiftly cut off by Danny's lips. She melted against him, pulling away with a slight confusion to her otherwise lovelorn expression.

"No... listen, you must have had a hard time of it recently so I thought how about we go out today? Rowan is coming over and I'm sure he wouldn't mind watching Robbie for an hour or two."

Alice's words were taken from her, she nodded realising he needed an answer, smiling energetically as she did so. He returned it with his own endearing grin.

"So Dinner?" Danny asked.

"You know... it's a nice day out... I mean why you had your coat on is beyond me." Alice laughed, "But, how about we just go to the park and lounge, take a sandwich or something and some water."

"Sounds perfect." Danny smiled, "I look forward to it."

"As do I." Alice beamed, "We haven't had much Danny and Alice time, have we?"

"Not really... Miss it." Danny winked.

"Me too, and I need to tell you about something that I've been meaning too..."

As Alice was about to open up about her health when suddenly the door bell sounded; Danny spun around, rubbing her arms before answering the door. She clenched her fists; for once she wished her brother had been late! He smiled at her as he slowly made his way through. Danny went off to get him a drink of water as Alice led him through to where Robert was. Rowan grinned as Alice handed him over.

"Rowan, you know how you love me..."

"You want me to babysit... I wondered how long it would be before you asked me that question! You took so long!"

"Well yes." Alice admitted, "I know, I took ages, it's just... Mum never left us and you know, I liked that."

"Aye..." Rowan nodded, "But Mum didn't have a loving husband did she?"

"He loved her in his own way." Alice sighed, "Thank you Rowan."

"It's ok... I get to spend time in your lovely, clean house and mess it up! We'll cause Mummy a headache won't we Robbie?" Rowan cooed, "He says yes."

"I'm sure he does." Alice chuckled, "Teach him the important things though won't you?" Rowan gave her an expectant look, "To support bonnie Scotland!"

"He already does!" Rowan beamed, "Now get gone!"

Alice hugged him quickly before rushing off upstairs to get ready; Danny wandered in laughing as he handed Rowan the drink.

"Thanks Rowan." Danny smiled.

"Ach, don't worry about it Danny... You two need an hour or two alone. You have company for the next eighteen years!" Rowan beamed, "Ah, the thudding of the stairs..." He beamed as Alice entered the room, changed into a vest top and shorts, "And she's ready!"

Alice tutted, moving over to Robert, rattling off a hundred and one instructions for Rowan who rolled his eyes; Alice laughed as she realised she was going into over protective mother mode and kissed Robert gently. Danny too kissed his son before handing him back to Rowan.

"Be back in an hour or two." Alice promised as she took Danny's hand who looked extremely causal in a T-shirt and jeans. "Bye!"

"Have fun!" Rowan called as Danny and Alice left the house together, hand in hand; the way she ought to be.

**A/N – Sooo... I was gonna end the chapter here but I thought... nah! I'll add a bit of cute Danice! So enjoy :P**

It hadn't taken them all that long to reach the park or find their optimum spot for both sunbathing and some privacy. They'd eaten their sandwiches pretty quickly and had taken to sunbathing and talking leisurely. Danny was led flat out on the grass, one of his arms across his chest, one hand resting on Alice whose head was resting on his stomach as she led sideways. As their talking ceased, both led in the peace of the sunlight, savouring the rare tranquillity they were experiencing. Lying together happy was paradise enough for them.

"This is nice." Alice murmured as she felt Danny's hand run along her back.

"It is..." Danny agreed, allowing her to move as she sat up. He opened his eyes to look at her, "You're desperate to tan aren't you?"

"Yep." Alice laughed as she led back down, her head falling onto his thigh this time. Danny rested his hands on his chest, "You're leg is surprisingly comfy... it's much comfier than your belly."

"Umm... thank you... I think." Danny laughed.

"It's cos you're thin..." Alice expanded, "If you were fat you'd be comfy but I don't want you to be fat because then you'd be well... fat."

Danny shook his head laughing as Alice sat up once more, beginning to pick at the grass, pulling it up from its roots, Danny watched her with an amused expression before once more closing his eyes. Alice smirked as she noticed he wasn't watching her... she knew she shouldn't but she had too... how could she not. She quickly grabbed a handful and sprinkled it on his face causing him to sit up quickly.

"Alice!" Danny exclaimed as she giggled; he grumbled as he ran his hand through his hair before grabbing his own handful and throwing it at her. She gasped as she looked down.

"It's gone down my top!" Alice grumbled, fishing some grass out.

"I can help?" Danny suggested as Alice shook her head, "You did start it, you can't sulk..."

"I can..." Alice replied, "But instead I think I'll just lie on you."

"I'll accept." Danny laughed as he led back down, Alice lying beside him, her head on his chest in her favourite spot. Danny wrapped one arm around her as the other supported his head, "Remember when we did this after the Copy?"

"Yep." Alice smiled, "They were ready to send out a search party for us... 3 hours to release a bloody giraffe!" She added, the latter in her Dup impression causing Danny to laugh heartily. "We've had some good times haven't we?"

"We have and more to come... that sentence sounded almost as though this was somehow the end." Danny sighed before pausing a moment. Alice was about to fill the silence with a confession until Danny spoke up once more, "We're forever... until the end."

"The end..." Alice whispered, "And beyond." She breathed afterwards. "I don't tell you often enough but I love you so much Danny. Words can't describe it... I wish I could find a way of telling you."

"I love you." Danny replied, "So, so, so much."

Alice turned and kissed him softly on the lips. He smiled as she pulled away and rested her face in his shoulder. Both led there in a tranquil silence; content with one another's company for a good half an hour until Danny, upon checking his watch noticed that they were running out of time.

"Sweetheart, we need to get going." Danny murmured, rubbing her upper arm.

"Hmm... can't we just Tube it back?" Alice asked.

"It would take longer to walk down all the stairs and escalators than it would to walk..." Danny laughed, "It's like one stop."

"Hmm ok." Alice grumbled sitting up and running her hands through her hair.

She stood up and began brushing herself off as Danny did the same. He smirked as he noticed a piece of grass in her hair she'd missed and gently pulled it out earning himself an energetic grin. He simply smiled as he took her hand, gently leading her out of the park. She glanced up towards him; he seemed so happy now. She would tell him she vowed as she rested her head on his shoulder, clutching his hand, she'd tell him tonight. She'd sit him down and tell him everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Apologies for some of this chapter... It's needed.**

He was treating her like a princess; caring to her every whim, dealing with the kids, making dinner, massaging her when he sat with her, kissing her leisurely, holding her close but, although she was grateful she couldn't help but wish he wouldn't. Of course, she loved the intention, what woman wouldn't? But the knowledge that she was keeping a life changing secret from him was far too much and the intensity of Alice Trevanion's guilt was forcing her into a passive state. She didn't seem to be able to say no to him or to stop him, he could do what he wanted with her, she was otherwise occupied.

"Robbie's down, Charlie's sparko." Danny crooned as she moved to sit on the sofa with his wife, wrapping an arm around her. "How about a bath together?"

"Are you ok with baby shampoo?" Alice laughed not turning to look in his eyes.

"Shower?" Danny pleaded; "Come on, it'll be fun and it'll save us money on our water bill. I was watching Daybreak." He continued as he noticed Alice giving him a 'get real' look, "Money saver Martin Lewis said sharing a bath or shower is not only fun but saves you money."

Alice simply laughed allowing him to lead her upstairs; they didn't have to do anything physical in the shower did they? They'd simply showered before without doing... well, the dirty. She shook her head slightly, chastising herself; yes Alice, she thought, but back then you and Danny had a very physical relationship it wasn't needed, for the past six months the most physicality in your relationship is a kiss and a hug before bedtime!

"You seem quiet Alice?" Danny asked her as he turned the shower on before opening the window to let the steam out, "Is everything ok?"

"Just thinking..." Alice murmured as she took her shirt off. "In my own little world..."

"Alice-land." Danny laughed as he walked forward and gently removed her vest top, "I bet it's crazy there." He laughed as Alice nodded running his hand down the sides of her body.

Her mind blanked as he did so as memories and old feeling came flooding back. A burning sensation ran through her and without even realising it she was undressing him, slowly and carefully as she observed every part of his body. She noticed he'd toned up slightly, his abs were more defined and his stomach was flatter almost as though he'd been working out (although she knew he hadn't purposely been doing so she had it on good authority he'd been doing more lifting at Leopards Den hence his new physique). Her heart felt as though it was going to burst through her chest as he gently led her into the shower, his hands falling onto her hips as soon as they were settled.

"I've missed you..." Danny whispered as he leant forward and hugged her under the cascading water; he felt as though he was on fire but he wasn't sure if that was his love for Alice or the boiling hot water the power shower produced.

"I've missed you too." Alice murmured running her hands down his chest. "I've missed us."

Danny smiled and slowly leant forward, his eyes fluttering shut as he kissed her. He'd only intended for it to be a chaste, simple kiss until Alice wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled him closer. Almost immediately his mind had left him and he'd found himself devouring her in a heated kiss. He slowed as she leant against the wall; one of his hands came to rest on the wall as both let themselves go. Alice sighed on his lips; just one time wouldn't matter... it wouldn't hurt. There wasn't any rule was there? She began to slow the kiss further, her hands coming to rest on Danny's chest; she was about to push him away when suddenly his hand moved from the wall and began to caress her, coaxing her deeper into his embrace.

She allowed herself to fall; she couldn't escape. He'd always been totally enthralling and she'd never been able to refuse him or say no. He'd insisted many a time that if she wanted to stop she only had to say and he would but Alice had never taken liberty of that promise. Her mind was focussed on Danny and her body of its own natural accord reacted to the man she was so totally in love with. Danny smiled on her lips, he wanted her despite the fact he had her. That confused him slightly but nonetheless he didn't mind; he couldn't stop now; his body reacted to her touch as natural as day; he'd never had this intimacy with anyone before; only Alice made him lose control so easily.

He laughed slightly as she brought her lips to his; his hand moved down to the small of her back, he felt her shiver slightly and frowned as she pulled back. She had a look of apprehension on her face, almost as though she was nervous. He smiled at her reassuringly, kissing her collarbone something he knew she loved.

"You ok?"

"Yeh..." Alice breathed, "Just savouring this."

Danny grinned before kissing her once more upon her lips. Hers were moist and soft, whilst his were masterful yet gentle. Alice made a decision; she could handle this. She needed this. She needed this close proximity to her Husband. She needed him. This felt right.

He realised she was completely relaxed once more and so he slowly began to move his hand downwards, tracing her soft skin tenderly, his fingertips pressing the perfect pressure.

Alice smiled; he still knew how to show a good time. Suddenly she realised; his hand... fear filled her and she realised she couldn't do this. She wanted Danny yes, oh god, she didn't want to pull away but she couldn't! Her doctor had warned her it would be extremely painful and could cause more harm than good! Fear took over and she pulled back, tears welling in her eyes.

"Danny..." Alice cried, "I can't" She breathed stepping away from him.

"Alice? Have I rushed you? Scared you?"

"NO!" She exclaimed, "I just can't!" She cried, her tears falling as she dashed out the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her shoulders barely hiding her modesty leaving a shocked Danny behind.

He jumped out, turning the shower off and wrapping a towel around himself as he galloped from the bathroom like a wild horse. He wasn't an idiot... something was wrong!

**A/N – I am sorry for like the perverted content but like it's kinda needed ;) I wanted Danice to have a moment that was ruined by Alice's health...**

**Question is, will she tell him the real reason now or is she still gonna hide it from him? How's she gonna be explain her reluctance?**


	8. Chapter 8

Danny stood at the door breathing heavily as he observed his wife for a moment. He'd seen her cry numerous times and each every time it broke his heart but this time... no, it was different. He'd never seen her like this. She was totally within herself almost numb to her surroundings; he wondered if she'd actually realised he'd entered the room. She was rocking as she clutched her towel, crying heavily yet quietly. He swallowed before finally walking forward.

"Alice?" He whispered quietly stopping as he reached the bed. He stood above, looking down at her.

"Leave me Danny." Alice told him, "Don't put yourself through the pain."

"What?" Danny asked in shock, "Alice where is this coming from?"

"I just..." Alice sniffed, "I can't!"

"Why?" Danny asked her, "Why?" He repeated after a long silence. "Oh come on Alice! You can't... well you can... but, we've never had a problem in that area. I mean since day one..."

Alice bit her lip and closed her eyes tight shut trying to halt her tears. She knew that it was now or never. She either told him or she lied to him. She either told him or pushed him away. Either way she was about to break his heart and that shattered hers.

"Have I rushed you?" Danny asked sincerely sitting at the foot of the bed. He didn't look towards Alice but down at the floor.

"No." Alice replied simply keeping her focus on the ceiling as she leant back against the headboard.

"Did I scare you?" Danny questioned.

"No."

"Was I being too forward? Did I hurt you?"

"No, you'd never hurt me."

"But you hurt me." Danny sighed, "Ok, what is it Alice? I know you and you wouldn't do this unless there was some serious reason!"

"Of course there's a reason." Alice evaded.

"What is it then?" Danny asked harsher, he was losing his patience despite the fact he was trying not to.

Alice remained silent, tears still rolling steadily down her cheeks. She was trying to string the sentence together but how could she? This was life changing. She thought she'd be able to just tell Danny the minute he got off the plane; she had never wanted it to come to this.

"Is there someone else?" Danny asked after a few moments. His tone bitter and cold.

"No!" Alice exclaimed, her head snapping up, "How can you even suggest that?"

"Well you won't tell me the reason and your being evasive! What conclusion do you want me to come to?" Danny snapped jumping up, "Fine, was there someone else."

"Do you actually think I could be disloyal to you?" Alice asked in disbelief. "With your son in the house? With Charlie in the house?"

"No, I don't think you would..."

"I said could." Alice snapped cutting him off as she stood up and made her way towards him.

He swallowed, "In my heart no, in my head yes and I can't take this!" He cried, "TELL ME ALICE!"

"Fine... the reason I can't make love to my husband is because..." She paused, taking a deep breath, biting her lip as she tried to keep her composure, "Because I have the early stages of cervical cancer."

Danny simply stared at her, his breathing heavy as tears clouded his eyes. He took a step backwards almost as though he'd been physically hit.

"No, no, no... you can't... not you." Danny told her shaking his head, "You're fit! You're healthy! You've always been so strong."

"Danny..." Alice cried, her voice breaking as she uttered his name. She dropped to her knees burying her head in her hands.

"No!" Danny cried as he too let himself slide to the floor where he remained for three minutes simply staring at her, "Alice..." He whispered as he sat on the floor, pulling her into his embrace. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because it was so hard; I knew you'd be heartbroken." Alice admitted through tears as she leant into him, "I thought it'd be easy to tell you but it wasn't... you seemed so happy and I didn't want to ruin that."

"I can't believe I didn't notice something was wrong." Danny murmured, "All the signs have been there and I've not seen them!"

"I was hiding it from you!" Alice protested, "You weren't meant to see them."

"Of course I was, I'm your Husband." Danny replied, "I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologising!" Alice snapped, "It's not your fault ok?"

Danny remained silent for a few moments before nodding; he needed to support her not blame himself for all this. She was right, it's not his fault she had this horrible killer attacking her, he couldn't prevent that or how it would affect her and that killed him. He pulled her closer without realising as heavier tears leaked; he couldn't lose another wife, he couldn't lose Alice.

"What's... what's the doctor said?" Danny finally whispered.

"It can be stopped in its tracks before it develops into the full-fledged cancer if I have a hysterectomy. It's too late for a cone biopsy and my only way of guaranteeing my health..." Alice trailed off, "If I don't have it, the cancer develops and..." Alice trailed off, she knew Danny didn't need her to utter the words.

"Oh my Alice..." Danny whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"It means no more kids though Danny... so, if you want another then we need to do it now..."

"That's an added nine months at least." Danny replied, "You could develop the cancer in that time. No way. You need to have this as soon as possible Alice. Yes, I wasn't opposed to more children but to be honest Alice I think five is enough to keep us busy. Alice your health is paramount..."

"I have the doctor's appointment in a couple of days... it's the pre-op in effect." Alice told him, "Will you... will you come with me?"

"Of course I will." Danny promised, "Listen, I'm by your side every step of the way. We're going to fight this Alice and you are going to be just fine. I promise."

"I love you Danny..." Alice cried turning to hug him fully, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Danny murmured, "I love you too. This is why you couldn't come to Africa hmm?"

She nodded looking into his green eyes. Her blue orbs were sparkling with unshed tears, her cheeks were blotchy from her emotion and she looked exhausted. Danny sighed and kissed her forehead softly as he held her.

"The healthcare is better here and with the illness starting here..."

He nodded slowly, "Does Rowan know?"

"No, no-one does. I suppose I need to sit Charlie down at some point."

"What about Leopards Den?" Danny asked, "Are we telling everyone there?"

"They have a right to know." Alice sighed, "But no fuss... oh god, this means we have to tell Georgina."

"That's a brave move... sure you don't want to be treated in Glasgow?" Danny laughed, "I mean, she doesn't even need to change lines on the Tube...she could be here in ten minutes!"

"I told you we should have moved away from the central line." Alice winked, "But, oh no," She grinned as she began to impersonate him, "This house is close to everything Alice and a good size at decent money and in a relatively safe and good area..."

"It is!" Danny protested, "The one con to the house is the fact Georgina can get to us; though that means you can get to her! Go see her fancy house and be waited on hand and foot!"

"I love her but... she's so annoying. She is literally the annoying Aunt." Alice smiled, "Though she's very sweet and caring when it comes to times like these."

"She is. She'll do anything for you... I'll call round after work tomorrow." Danny promised Alice, "I'll ask for a few weeks off."

"Danny no..." Alice drawled,

"Alice... don't argue." Danny said sternly, "You are not well."

"Fine." Alice pouted, she felt so much lighter having told Danny the truth. It felt nice not having any secrets and this easiness was something she cherished.

"Come on..." Danny smiled, standing up, "Look at us, we're still sat in towels."

"I hadn't noticed..." Alice laughed as she took his hand and stood up, "Better dress."

"Can't keep your hands off me?" Danny smiled raising his eyebrows as he found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

"Something like that." Alice smirked, "On your part anyway..."

Danny laughed before leading her to the bed, lying her down before he himself led beside her carefully. Both people looked in one another's red rimmed eyes. Alice gently ran her hand down his still damp face; he smiled and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently before kissing that one hand. He kissed her deeply once before taking her hand once again.

"Thank you Danny..." Alice whispered as she closed her eyes... "Thank you."

**A/N – So Danny knows but ze story doesn't end here!**


	9. Chapter 9

Danny smiled to himself as he signed his final piece of paperwork before glancing across at the clock; only half an hour left in the hell hole before he got to go home to his wife. Sadness overcame him as he thought of her; his poor, poor Alice. The way she had to battle that most horrid disease and then of course they had to break it to Charlotte. He had a feeling she suspected something was wrong but he doubted anything could prepare her for this sort of news; his reaction had proved how, even as an adult, such news was unwelcome and hard to digest. Even this morning, he'd still been in shock and had felt himself latching onto her a little; holding her hand, hugging her, kissing her, doing things for her. She didn't seem to mind though, she appeared to quite enjoy his fussing actually.

"Danny?"

He turned, smiling at the receptionist who had entered his office.

"Could you come and look at one of the horses down at Pets Corner?" She asked him, "It's looking a little sorry for itself apparently."

"Yeh, I'll go now." Danny replied standing up, "Here, your paperwork."

"Thanks."

Danny rushed off in the direction of pets corner; just another day as an English vet!

(x)

Alice let herself into Rowan's flat after knocking once. She still had a key and since it took him an age to do anything she figured walking in was the safer option. She smiled as heard his moaning coming from the kitchen and pots and pans clattering together. He was most obviously cleaning up, something which had never been his strong point. She was about to save him though she wasn't in doubt that he'd rather clean for a millennium than hear her news.

"Hey Rowan." Alice said entering the kitchen.

"Hey... cleaning up. How do you do this domestic stuff?" Rowan asked her as he placed his rubber gloves on the side.

"With great difficulty! Trust me, there's no one I miss more than Nomsa!" Alice chuckled, "How are you?"

"Good, nurse said I'm looking good too." He winked, wiggling his eyebrows telling Alice unspoken that he had had his way with her. She shook her head smiling to herself.

"You're a bad man." Alice told him, "Honestly, your nurse?"

"I can't help it if she fancies me!" Rowan protested, "Besides, she was leaving the NHS to join a private firm... it was a parting gift." He beamed.

"You're definitely better!" Alice laughed, "Come on, sit down, I'll prepare us some tea. There's something I need to speak to you about."

Rowan nodded, whizzing past her on his one crutch for support as she set about making them both tea. She gathered Rowan would need more than tea mind!

"So, come on, spill the beans." Rowan grinned as Alice seated herself opposite him,

"Rowan... I've been to the doctors and..."

"You're not pregnant again." Rowan drawled.

Alice remained silent, looking down, oh how she wished she was or could ever be pregnant again. She took one deep breath before shaking her head.

"I'm not going to be able to have any more children." Alice told her brother.

"Why?" Rowan asked softly, leaning forward, "You and Danny were discussing children at one point..."

"Rowan..." Alice's voice broke slightly, "I have the early stages of cervical cancer. I have to have a hysterectomy to halt it. It's too late for anything else and if I don't have it... I contract the cancer and it's likely I'll die."

"Oh my god..." Rowan whispered, "Alice, I'm so sorry." He stood up and moved to sit next to his sister, hugging her tightly, "Still, your gonna have the op right? We lost Mum to that and I don't want to lose you to it."

"Yeh... I offered Danny the chance to have one more kid but he told me absolutely not... I think if he could frog march me down there he would and have it done instantly." Alice smiled, "You know what he's like..."

"I do... how did he take it?" Rowan asked softly,

"Not good." Alice admitted, "He was really upset... couldn't really accept it at first." She leaned further into Rowan as he squeezed her shoulder, "Then he held me all night; let me cry into him and tell him everything."

"I'm here too you know." Rowan promised her, "You need anything and I mean anything, you tell me. You have been my saviour Alice and so... I want to return the favour."

"You don't have too... but thanks." Alice smiled, "You might get a few babysitting duties... starting with my Doctor's appointment?" She said sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Of course." Rowan promised, "Is this why you didn't go back to Africa then... healthcare better here and stuff."

"Yeh... I mean, I didn't tell Danny why, I just lied to him, got him over here but yes." Alice finished confusing herself in the process. "Anyway, tonight we're telling Charlotte and then well I suppose we'll tell everyone at Leopards Den..."

"You'll be ok though won't you sis?" Rowan asked her timidly,

"I'll be fine." Alice promised, "Listen, do you want to come over one day, have your tea with us?"

"Sure, if it won't..."

"I'm not an invalid yet Rowan." Alice drawled standing up, "Although I do need to get a move on... Danny'll be home just after three and then Charlie just after four. I need to go do some manning up..."

Rowan stood up and pulled her close for a tight hug, "I love you." He murmured, "I don't tell you very often but you're the best little sister a man could ask for."

"I love you too... and when you're like this you can be the best big brother a girl could ask for." She teased as she pulled away, "I'll text you later... that's if your nurse isn't coming over..."

"Alice Trevanion." Rowan gasped, "How dare you suggest such!"

"You are a terrible liar."

"And you're nosey." Rowan teased, "See you later Alice."

"Seeya Rowan." Alice replied before walking away. She sighed, feeling lighter that she had finally told her brother, but the biggest task was still to come... she still had her daughter's heart to break.

**A/N – Filler but stick with it!**

**So, she's gonna be telling Charlotte next chapter... oooer.**


	10. Chapter 10

Danny and Alice were snuggled up close upon the sofa talking in soft, hushed tones when Charlotte bounded through the door. She shouted alerting them of her arrival as she threw her school bag down and began to kick off her shoes as she shook out of her coat, chucking it carelessly up onto a coat hook.

"Hey Mum! Danny! You'll never guess what happened today!" Charlotte called as she walked through into the living room where they were sat, holding onto one another's hands, "Mr Jones was running down the back of PE and he slipped on the mud and went flying! It was hilarious!" She chuckled to herself as she finished, loosening her tie as she did so. She seemed oblivious to the sadness being omitted from her parents.

"I bet..." Danny smiled softly letting his voice trial off before squeezing Alice's hands. He nodded as she looked at him with wide eyes, taking her cue from him.

"Charlotte, honey, can you sit down please?" Alice said quietly, "Danny and I would like to talk to you."

"Yeh ok." Charlotte replied slightly unsurely, "Is everything ok?"

"It's not... but it will be." Alice replied. "Charlotte, I don't want you to be scared or worry ok? You are old enough to know the exact truth about why we have to stay in England and so I'm going to tell you."

"Scared?" Charlotte parroted, "Mum why would I be scared?"

"Sweetheart, let your Mum speak." Danny told her softly, "In fact, why don't you come closer." He offered, moving over so Charlotte squeeze between him and Alice. He kept his arm behind Charlie, his hand on Alice's shoulder.

"I said the reason for staying here was your Uncle Rowan and to some extent that's true but there's a bigger reason tying us here. I would have told you earlier but it's taken me some time to get my head around and Danny only found out yesterday." Alice sighed softly, she could feel tears threatening, "Honey." Alice breathed reaching for her daughter's hand, "I have... I have the early stages of..." Alice took a deep breath struggling, Danny nodded at her offering her his support and unspoken saying he didn't mind saying it but Alice continued, "Cervical Cancer." She whispered.

Charlotte stared at her Mum with a pained expression, she turned quickly to look at Danny who smiled sadly at her, before she turned back to her Mum who had tears welled in her eyes. Charlotte shook her head slightly, tears forming as her Mum squeezed her hands.

"Cancer?" Charlotte breathed.

"Yes, but it's not developed yet and all I need is an operation and it'll be cured." Alice smiled.

"What operation?" Charlotte asked,

"It's called a hysterectomy, it's where they take my womb out. It means I won't be able to have any more children..." Alice explained.

"I love you Mum." Charlotte whispered as she hugged her mum tightly, resting her head in Alice's chest as she had done many times as a child. Alice held her close, just as Charlotte remembered her doing, kissing the top of her head as she kept her close to her, squeezing her tight enough but not too tight. Her Mum's hugs were perfect.

"I love you too." Alice whispered as one tear fell. She couldn't think of anything at that time what could feel better than her daughter's arms wrapped around her. Alice felt the love encompass her; she'd never really expected to be a mother and had always thought she'd be a useless Mum but she knew different. She did her best and her best was more than enough.

Charlotte turned slightly and smiled at Danny who was sat watching them with a dumb smile on his face. Despite the fact she was still latching onto Alice, she looked at him with a sincere expression and told him;

"I love you too Danny."

Danny grinned and moved closer, wrapping his arms around the pair of them. Alice smiled up at him and mouthed 'I love you' over Charlotte's head. He simply kissed her forehead, mouthing the same words back as he held them both close. He sighed, the love he felt for them both was beyond any form of belief. Both Alice and Charlotte were being so brave about all these despite the hardship of the situation.

"Can I go to my room?" Charlotte asked quietly after ten minutes of comfortable silence, "I have some homework to do."

"Of course you can sweetie." Alice murmured as she and Danny let her go. She smiled at them before rushing off evidently wanting some time alone. "She's like me; wants time alone to digest."

"She's amazing, you both are." Danny told her sincerely pulling her into his arms, "And I am so, so proud of you."

"Thanks for being there for me." Alice replied softly, "I don't think I could do this without you..."

"Good job you don't have to then." Danny replied, "I spoke about taking time off. They understand and I can practically pick and choose my hours. Make up hours here and there, don't even have to give advance notice, just call them up, say when I'm leaving. They are being very good about it."

"Good." Alice replied, "We need to tell someone at Leopards Den. Pass the message on."

"Any preference?" Danny asked quietly,

"Not Liv or Fatani or Dup... Rosie or Caroline." Alice replied, "They can handle it and well... I think they'll help everyone through it better."

"Rosie then." Danny replied, "I agree... she's the oldest and well, she loves you a lot Alice."

"I love her too, I miss her." Alice murmured sadly.

"She's incredible." Danny smiled, before getting up, "I'll go give her a call." He leant down and kissed her gently, "If I can find the phone Mrs Gas-a-lot."

"It's in the kitchen." Alice smiled watching him walk away from her. She sighed; how had she landed Danny? She felt extremely lucky despite her ill health.

(x)

Danny sighed in relief as Rosie answered the phone. She sounded exceedingly chirpy and joyous and Danny could only guess what about.

"So Dad, would you like some news from me?" Rosie asked,

"Sure." Danny replied.

"Max is back and we're together again." She beamed, "We worked through our differences."

"That's great." Danny replied as enthusiastically as he could but Rosie could tell he was distracted; he always took on that distant tone.

"Dad what is it?" Rosie asked him straight out.

"It's Alice." Danny replied, "Rosie, we're both sorry to burden you with this but... look we need to tell you something which you need to tell the rest of the family. It's the real reason Alice needs to stay out here."

"Dad? Is everything ok?" Alice asked worriedly.

"Alice has the early stages of cervical cancer, she needs to have a hysterectomy to get better and halt the cancer. Obviously there's the get better period and stuff..."

"Oh my god... Dad." Rosie breathed, "Oh poor Alice. Of course I'll tell everyone. Is Alice ok?"

"She's being brave." Danny admitted, "She's amazing as always."

"Tell her I'll call her tonight." Rosie insisted, "I'll gather everyone straight away."

"Of course." Danny accepted,

"And Dad... tell her I love her." Rosie said softly, "I've never told her that in all seriousness. I've said it drunk and jokingly but... just tell her."

"She loves you too Rosie, misses you." Danny promised her.

"I'll call tonight Dad, keep strong." Rosie said strongly.

"I love you Rosie." Danny whispered.

"I love you too Dad, bye." Rosie replied before placing down the phone.

Danny clicked the button on the phone that ended the call before slowly placing it down. He swallowed, resting his head in his hands, resting on the kitchen table. He took a number of deep breaths before standing up straight. He had to be strong!

**A/N – So everyone's finding out but Danny is trying to keep strong...**

**And I'm gutted about ITV's decision but at least we get a 2 hour special.**


	11. Chapter 11

It had been three days since Danny and Alice had attended her pre-op with Alice's gynaecologist, Dr Craig. They'd heard exactly what they had expected to hear and after the usual risks being outlined and Alice being forced to sign some papers, she'd been given a date for two weeks time and told to go home and prepare herself for it – physically and mentally.

Everyone at Leopards Den knew about her condition and all of the family had called at one point over the past few days. Even Dup and Ed, the two least likely to call and Fiona who had never even met Alice, had called with their sympathies and well wishes. It had hit Dup particularly hard. He felt guilty for all the times he had tried to stop Danny from leaving Africa. Of course, if he'd known the true reason he wouldn't have ever tried to, but the harsh reality of Alice's condition and her obvious love that shown through her protecting her family in such a way had hit him hard. Rosie had probably been the most emphatic towards her step mother and offered her very much a female shoulder to cry on. Although she couldn't directly relate she felt her own experience of a miscarriage must have counted for something – the emptiness was a feeling Rosie knew and she knew just how horrid it was.

Danny had been supportive throughout and Alice's gratitude towards him had been immense up until a few hours after her pre-op. Despite the fact he didn't doubt how grateful she was (not that she needed to be) and that she wanted him there, Danny had picked up on the fact his wife seemed too quiet and slightly aloof. She'd been distant in every possible way; it was almost as though she was on auto pilot, a robot doing what she was programmed to do. She looked after Robert, Charlotte, had Danny's tea on the table when he walked through the door, kissed him at set points and went to bed at the same time before waking up the next morning at the exact same time. She didn't seem human anymore.

He'd reluctantly made his way to work earlier in the morning. He knew that they couldn't live forever on their savings and that what they had would dwindle quickly – Alice had insisted he went telling him she had plenty to do and would be ok – then she'd started cleaning and Danny had felt almost dismissed by her. The day had been busy and he'd completed four operations on various animals around the zoo, but a part of him had been with her; worrying, panicking and so now, as he drove home he was determined to get to the bottom of what was upsetting her.

Walking through the door he noticed the place seemed quiet – not a sound could be heard downstairs and upstairs seemed quiet too. He frowned as he threw his shoes off, noticing Charlotte's weren't there. It was in that moment he remembered that it was a Friday night and Charlotte often stayed at friends' houses at the weekend – it was meant to have been her turn this weekend but she'd insisted that it didn't matter, that her Mum needed the rest and her friends would not mind one bit.

Danny sighed as he removed his coat, walking through to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge, opening it and taking a long, slow swig. A part of him would do anything for a Castle lager but he knew that it wasn't fair on Alice to start drinking – she'd inevitably taste it on his lips or smell it on his breath and although she wouldn't say a thing or oppose him a drink Danny knew that it just wouldn't be fair to remind her of what she couldn't presently have. He shook his head and pushed himself off the side he'd been leaning on; Alice not being around was strange and he felt a little worried that she hadn't even come down to greet him yet or called to him.

He began to walk up the stairs slowly, bottle of water in his hand. He peeped inside Robert's nursery to see him in his cot asleep, the baby monitor beside his cot. He walked in and smiled, leaning on the cot for a few moments observing his son who was growing so quickly. He was eight months old and Danny couldn't believe how quickly time had flown by. He ran his fingers softly and tenderly down his son's cheek before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind him before moving towards his and Alice's room where the door was only slightly ajar.

"Alice?" Danny murmured as he opened the door into the darkened room.

She was sat on their bed, her knees underneath her, and one palm covering her eyes as she buried her head into her arm. It was obvious that she crying as her shoulder shook violently with every staggered breath. Danny swallowed and placed his bottle of water on one of the chest of drawers that was close to their door before walking towards the bed.

"Alice..." Danny spoke once more, his voice soft and caring as he sat down upon the bed next to her, gently pulling her into his embrace. He sighed as she let him; putting all her weight on to him. It was almost as though he was her pillar, keeping her from flopping on to the bed and being pulled down by gravity to the depths of the ground. "Alice, sweetheart, come on..."

"Danny..." Alice croaked, "I... I'm..." She paused before taking a deep shaky breath, "I'm scared." She finished on a breath, her voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

"I know." Danny whispered, "But I'm here for you – do you want to talk about it?"

"It's not even the operation anymore Danny." Alice cried, moving one arm so it held him tightly. He kissed the top of her head softly, "It's Charlotte, Robert, Rosie, Liv, Evan..." She paused once more, "It's the family... It's You. I'm scared of leaving you all..."

"That's not going to happen." Danny protested stubbornly,

"It might." Alice replied, "And you should all prepare for that."

"No!" Danny demanded standing up, "No! Stop thinking like that Alice! It's a one in a million chance!"

"Stop shouting." Alice cried, "It's not changing anything."

"If it's what's needed to make you shut up about dying then I'll shout all day."

"You want to talk and then bang! You don't wanna discuss it!" Alice shouted coarsely as she too stood up.

"For pities sake Alice!" Danny spat, "I don't want to hear you talk about you dying or not making it through – why? Because I bloody love you!"

"Oh so we can discuss it as long as we don't discuss the possibilities?" Alice snapped, "Why's it always got to be your way?"

"Sorry for not wanting to discuss the possibilities which happen to one person out of every million who have the procedure..."

"There's still that one!"

"Stop being so pessimistic!" Danny growled running both hands through his hair, "I can't come home to this!"

"Don't bother then." Alice retorted, "No one's asking you to stay with me."

"We're married." Danny shouted in disbelief.

"Don't make me your obligation." Alice muttered, "There's a spare room."

"Because that'd be great for Charlie to see." Danny sarcastically exclaimed causing Alice to turn in full fledged anger.

"Your habit of bringing the kids into this is really starting to piss me off!" Alice yelled.

"Oh yes cos everytime I have an argument with you I say it effects Charlotte." Danny rolled his eyes as he finished, "Are you on some sort of new medication?"

"Married couples don't always sleep in the same bed." Alice warned, "In fact, separate beds sound good."

"You can't throw me out the room."

"Can't I?" Alice challenged,

"Fine." Danny spat, "Have it your own way – sorry for trying to support you, sorry for struggling with my emotions, sorry for loving you so much that if I would die to take this illness away from you. In fact! People could torture me for the rest of my days if it meant you didn't have to go through this."

As he finished, he swiped at his eyes before retreating out of the room. Alice stared after him, her mouth open slightly as though she was about to reply. She swallowed before sitting down on the bed – he'd get over it.


	12. Chapter 12

Alice awoke slowly; she felt groggy, ill and after reaching out for Danny and hitting the cold mattress, alone. She groaned before sitting up, rubbing her eyes as she glanced across at the clock. Five AM. She sighed before kicking her legs out of the mattress' knot, careful to place her feet quietly on the floor. She knew that Danny didn't deserve her ranting or raving but she was scared – scared about everything.

Effortlessly and without any noise she crept down the stairs almost as though she was a burglar with an undoubted precision when it came to avoiding the creaky steps. She yawned tiredly before turning the light on blinding herself in the process.

"Arggh!"

Alice jumped, squealing in shock as she forced her eyes upon, blinking in rapid succession as she tried to get her eyes to adjust to the light. She breathed a sigh of relief as she noticed Danny stood in his shorts, a beaker in his hand half full of water. Both laughed sheepishly and nervously before awkwardness overcame them.

"Morning – why you up so early?" Alice asked him softly as she flicked the kettle on.

"Wanted a glass of water." Danny shrugged, "You?"

"Just woke up." Alice replied, "Do you want tea or coffee?"

"I just said I wanted water."

"Was just asking." Alice murmured as she grabbed her own cup from the side before both fell once more into an uncomfortable silence.

As both moved around the kitchen fumbling about, Danny realised that this wasn't what he wanted. She was ill and this wasn't helping. It just hurt him for her to discuss dying. He'd lost 2 wives as it was; he didn't want that number to stretch to three. Then it hit him, maybe he was bad luck.

"Alice." Danny said gravely, his voice soft and open.

"Danny?" Alice turned, alarmed by his tone. She was shocked as she looked at him. He looked so small and vulnerable, almost as though he was in turmoil. "What is it?"

"Maybe you'd be better off without me..." Danny sighed sitting down on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees as he placed his head in his hands, "Maybe I'm meant to be alone."

"What?" Alice squeaked, they'd had an argument yes but it was nothing compared to some of their rows. Fear filled her.

"I don't bring any joy to the people I love in the end, I hurt them." He explained, "Maybe without me, you'll get through it."

"Danny, I can't get through it without you." Alice replied passionately,

"Don't!" He snapped standing up, clutching his head in his hands, "Don't." He repeated quietly, "Don't say that." He paused as Alice watched him, her concern building, "Alice... Look at me."

"What about you?" Alice asked him, "All I see is the man I love."

"Don't you see it though? That's why you'd be better off without me. I love you Alice more than life itself and that's why I should let you go."

"Danny you aren't making sense." Alice cried out as tears began to form, "Why would you say that to me?" She croaked.

"Because I don't want you to die." Danny cried, a tear rolling down his cheek, "Everyone I love dies – Look at Miranda, Sarah."

"Danny they were tragedies." Alice told him as a tear fell, "I'm likely to survive this."

"What if you become a tragedy too Alice?" Danny argued as tears fell thickly, "I can't let that happen."

"Have you considered the tragedy of you leaving?" Alice challenged as more tears fell, "I need you Danny – I'll always need you – remember?"

"Alice..." Danny cried walking up to her and running her hand down her cheek, cupping her face in his hand, "How can one man be so unlucky – that's what they say – and this is the answer."

"How is it?" Alice whispered, her eyes boring into his, "You're talking about leaving me..."

"No. I'm a bad luck..." Danny croaked back, "You don't need me Alice, it's the opposite way around."

"Of course I need you – and what about Robert, Charlie?" Alice insisted, "You gonna leave them too?"

"I don't want anyone to get hurt." He replied curtly, pulling his hand away and taking a step back. He needed distance.

"Don't you see it though Danny – this is hurting me!" Alice shouted angrily as her emotions spiralled out of control, "Think back to the effect your father leaving had on your mother."

"I'm not him." Danny growled, stamping his foot, "Am I?"

"That's up to you." She replied softly, "Are you?"

The room was silent but for Danny's heavy breathing and Alice's shaky exhales as she watched him. His face contorted into an expression of turmoil before slowly changing to one of pure horror and remorse. Suddenly he slumped to the floor, clutching his head as he bent over double, his crying now audible as realised all that he was saying.

"Danny..."

Alice squeaked his name as she moved over to him, lowering herself onto the floor and pulling him close to her. She held his head tightly in her chest, rocking him as his emotions tumbled out. Her heart broke as she realised he'd been hurting all this time too; putting on a brave face to try and support her.

"I'm sorry..." He whimpered quietly into her chest, "I'm so, so, sorry." He cried as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I'm sorry too." Alice wept, "Please Danny..."

"I'm sorry, I... I love you Alice, and we'll get through this... together." He said between gasps of air before sitting up and brushing some wayward hairs out of her face as he cupped her face in his hands, "I love you."

Alice smiled a watery smile at him before resting her head upon his forehead, her eyes still gazing into his, "I love you Daniel Trevanion."

He closed his eyes and sighed, "I'm no help..."

"Of course you're a help..." Alice replied quickly fearful he was going to start again,

"It shouldn't be you comforting me and it certainly shouldn't be me having the breakdown." Danny murmured back as she moved her hand to cup his face. He opened his eyes to see her blue eyes sparkling with love.

"You need comfort too Danny." Alice told him softly, "I'm partly at fault anyway – I guess I was so wound up in my own self pity I forgot you were hurting too."

"And I forgot how hard this is for you." Danny admitted quietly before sitting up, "Come on, it's only half five. Another hour in bed."

"It's pointless." Alice whined as he stood up, taking his hand as he offered it her.

"Fine, we'll lie on the sofa then." Danny persisted, "Come on, this is the closest to make up-"

"Don't mention it." Alice warned lifting a finger up as a threat. "That's the new rule of this house."

Danny rolled his eyes and took her hand, "Only 8 weeks to go..."

"That doesn't make it any better." Alice moaned as they both settled down onto the sofa.

Danny laughed as she placed her back to his chest before he encircled his arms around her tightly. She snuggled into him, finding her own comfortable position before clutching his arm tightly. He sighed and kissed her neck – she was beyond amazing, she always had been and always would be.

**A/N – Sorry for hardly any updates, been uber duber busy!**


	13. Chapter 13

Charlotte yawned tiredly as she wandered down the stairs, the house was still all in darkness and so she could only assume that her Mum and Danny were still in bed - after all she was slightly early. It was only six in the morning and usually everyone just got up at about half past six. She sighed, half an hour alone probably wouldn't be a bad thing. Mornings here could be worse than mornings at Leopards Den as both her parents fussed about being late and Robert threw his breakfast everywhere making a nice mess for her Mum to clean up.

As she was walking through she frowned as she noticed the kitchen light was on - yet no one was in it. It was in that moment she realised that her Mum and Danny had to be up? They wouldn't just leave the light on... Then she saw them.

They were wrapped up in one another, asleep on the sofa. Her Mum looked settled and at peace as Danny held her protectively. There was no mistaking the love that sparkled between them and Charlotte felt like an intruder as she observed them.

"Thank you..." She whispered almost inaudibly looking up. She didn't know who to thank for the man who made her Mum happy but she did know one thing, whoever led them to Danny and Leopards Den deserved a huge thank you. She sighed once more before creeping back up the stairs.

(x)

Alice glanced around at the now spotless kitchen; she'd done a pretty good job if she did say so herself and so with a smug expression she quitted her chores and led down upon the sofa, flicking the TV on. The house was far too quiet without Robert, Charlotte and Danny and a part of her almost wished for the hectic lifestyle at Leopard's Den. At least it was never dull!

Before long Alice found herself musing about Danny's earlier outburst. God, she'd never seen him so vulnerable and distraught. He'd been a man on the edge and that wasn't her husband. Of course, it had been his emotion that had led him to say the things he said but it didn't stop Alice wondering if maybe she should look after him a little. Yes, she could offer him support as his wife but what if he needed something to take his mind off it, even if they could only manage two hours it might help. Almost like she was on auto-pilot, Alice found herself reaching for her mobile and speed-dialing her brother.

"Rowan - are you free tonight?... Great, see I was just wondering, would you watch Robbie and Charlie for me... Yeh, yeh, I know you've been itching for babysitting duties!... Ok cool, I'll pick you up at six as I'm going to take Danny for dinner... Yes I know it's usually the opposite way around Rowan but he needs a surprise!... Okay, see you later yeh? Bye." Alice grinned, clapping her hands together in glee before quickly dialing the number of what Georgina had described as a divine Italian restaurant.

Alice couldn't help but be proud of her handy work; now all she had to do was get her Husband on board but he couldn't exactly pull out of it now! She beamed as she quickly rang him, her smile wide, her heart beating frantically as blood pumped around her body.

"Hey Alice." Danny said down the phone in greeting, "Was just about to ring you, wondered how you were?"

"Hey... Yeh I'm good, you?" Alice inquired, her tone soft.

"Absolutely fine." Danny beamed, "Missing you..."

"You're sweet, I miss you too but Mr Trevanion, I am afraid you won't be chilling out tonight when you get home!" Alice beamed.

"Why?"

"You have a date..." She paused for a moment before continuing, "With your wife at an Italian restaurant. Tables booked for seven and your wife is picking her brother up to baby sit at six."

"Alice you don't have too..." Danny protested but an inner joy was evident in his voice. Alice could tell he was excited.

"I know, I want too." She replied happily, "Thought I'd treat you - which reminds me of another way I can treat you..."

"How?"

"Surprises, surprises."

"Promises, promises Mrs Trevanion..." Danny drawled at her suggestive tone. He knew exactly what she was alluding too. He chuckled as he heard her laugh heartily.

"Anyway, don't be late home - I'm looking forward to a night with you..."

"Me too. See you soon sweetheart." Danny said lightly,

"Bye Danny, love you."

"Love you too" Danny repeated, "Bye."

Alice hung up before jumping up and rushing upstairs, she had to choose what to wear!


	14. Chapter 14

"Are you ready Mr Trevanion?" Alice asked as she saw Danny walk down the stairs trying to fasten his cufflinks. He nodded as he continued to struggle, causing Alice to smirk and shake her head fondly, "Come here you..." She said softly, humour to her tone as she almost effortlessly fastened them tightly.

"Thanks..." Danny laughed looking down. She giggled too, putting her hands on his hips in reassurance. Danny was about to compliment her on her looks when her phone unexpectedly began to ring. Alice frowned at Danny who shrugged clueless, handing her her phone and waiting as she answered it.

"Hello? Yeh, yeh that's me... Oh?... Tomorrow? What time?... Ok, um... yeh... that's fine...Bye."

"Who was it?" Danny asked her, running his hands down her arms.

"The hospital. They had a cancellation and have moved me forward to tomorrow at eleven in the morning." Alice told him shakily.

"That's good!" Danny enthused but looking in her eyes he could see the lining of fear, "Hey..." He whispered, cupping her face in one hand, "You'll be completely fine... I promise."

"You're right, of course I will, you know it's just sudden..." Alice replied,

"I know..." Danny smiled, "Now come on, you are meant to be taking me to dinner!"

"I'll just say bye to Rowan... and Charlie and Robbie..." Alice grinned, her grin widening as Danny took her hand leading her through to the living room where Rowan was sat with Robert and Charlie.

After a quick goodbye (only made quick due to the fact Danny dragged Alice away before she could lecture Rowan on the same old, same olds), the pair were out of the house and as they walked to the car Alice threw Danny the keys.

"You can drive..." She beamed as he unlocked it with the remote.

"Ah, so you take me to dinner but I've to drive?" Danny asked her as she opened the passenger door for her smiling with humour.

"Of course Mr Trevanion."

"Very well Mrs Trevanion..." Danny said, closing the door and climbing in the driver's side. "Actually, it's not a bad thing..." He murmured connecting his iPhone to the stereo system, "I heard a song today and reminds me of us... Where we going?"

"Italian Restaurant around the corner from Georgina's..." Alice replied, "What song?" She asked as he scrolled through his music.

"Listen." Danny murmured as he pressed play, turning the volume up before setting off.

_She's a yellow pair of running shoes_

_A holey pair of jeans_

_She looks great in cheap sunglasses_

_She looks great in anything_

_She's I want a piece of chocolate_

_Take me to a movie_

_She's I can't find a thing to wear_

_Now and then she's moody_

_She's a Saturn with a sunroof_

_With her brown hair a-blowing_

_She's a soft place to land_

_And a good feeling knowing_

_She's a warm conversation_

_That I wouldn't miss for nothing_

_She's a fighter when she's mad_

_And she's a lover when she's loving_

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_

_'Cause she's everything to me_

_She's a Saturday out on the town_

_And a church girl on Sunday_

_She's a cross around her neck_

_And a cuss word 'cause its Monday_

_She's a bubble bath and candles_

_Baby come and kiss me_

_She's a one glass of wine_

_And she's feeling kinda tipsy_

_She's the giver I wish I could be_

_And the stealer of the covers_

_She's a picture in my wallet_

_and my unborn children's mother_

_She's the hand that I'm holding_

_When I'm on my knees and praying_

_She's the answer to my prayer_

_And she's the song that I'm playing_

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_

_'Cause she's everything to me_

_She's the voice I love to hear_

_Someday when I'm ninety_

_She's that wooden rocking chair_

_I want rocking right beside me_

_Everyday that passes_

_I only love her more_

_Yeah, she's the one_

_That I'd lay down my own life for_

Danny smiled as he glanced across at Alice, who had tears welled in her eyes. He slowly reached his hand across, stroking her knee before singing along to the final two verses.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_She's everything to me_

_Yeah she's everything to me_

_Everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_She's everything to me_

"Danny..." She whispered quietly,

"It's perfect no?" Danny replied smiling, "I had my iPhone on shuffle when it came on and it made me think of you. It always has." He added as he pulled the car into the car park.

"I Don't Know by Will Young makes me think of you..." Alice replied as both clambered out of the car. Danny took her hand as they walked towards the restaurant. "You fixed my broken bones, put them back together..."

"I'll find it later." Danny promised as they walked in, "Trevanion."

It was two hours later when Danny and Alice had finished their meal and now, as Danny awaited Alice to finish in the Ladies, he was busy texting Rowan asking if he was ok for another hour and a half to two hours. He wanted to take Alice somewhere special and give her something special in return. He wished they were in South Africa as his plan would be one hundred times more spectacular in the bush than on a hillside fifty minutes out of London. Still, hopefully she'd enjoy it.

"You ready Mrs Trevanion?"

"I am." Alice replied, "Have you had a nice evening?"

"The best, thank you." He replied kissing her as they walked out into the cool night air.

It wasn't long before they were speeding down the road when Alice realised they were going in the opposite direction to home.

"Danny it's the other way." Alice pointed out looking at him as he took a left out of the city.

"I know."

"The kids... Rowan..."

"Are fine." Danny replied, "Mrs Trevanion, you must await your surprise..."

"Surprise?"

"Surprise."

Alice frowned, allowing him to concentrate on his driving, a steady stream of chill out music playing as he drove. She turned to look at him, gazing at his expression. It was full of excitement and anticipation tinted with a deep concentration as he kept his eyes firmly on the road. His eyes darted right and left in a split second checking his mirrors before they once more returned to the road. She wondered where on Earth he could be taking them. They'd been driving for forty-five minutes and now they seemed to be going up a hillside.

"Here." Danny murmured as he pulled over.

"Here? A Hill?"

"A hill." Danny repeated jumping out and rushing round to open the door for her. He led her quickly to a flatter area before rushing back to the car leaving her confused for a moment, however her confusion soon disappeared as she heard the song she'd mentioned earlier begin to play. She welled up as he made his way back over to her, a soft and passionate smile upon his face, his eyes gentle. "Would you care to dance Mrs Trevanion?" He crooned holding out his hand to her.

"I would love too..." She replied, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her into his arms.

As the singing began, both began to slow-dance to the lyrics that meant so much. Alice smiled up at him, her eyes never leaving his as he danced with her in the moonlight. She moved slightly to rest her head on his shoulder as he looked down at her, pressing a soft kiss to the top her head as they shared the tender and romantic moment. Alice's eyes closed as she began to thank all her lucky stars for brining her to this man. She didn't care about her illness, in this moment it was forgotten as the man she loved sent her into a whirlwind.

As the music began to slow, leading to the end of the song, Danny stopped their dancing, instead he moved to cup her face in one of his hands forcing her eyes to meet his. Both were smiling as they gazed at one another with love lorn expressions, their eyes full of feeling and clarity about how they felt about one another.

"I was all alone, I was nearly gone... You don't know what you did for me, took my broken bones and put them back together..." Danny sang gently.

"You took me in." Alice finished before reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a tight hug. She sighed as she buried her face in his neck, a shaky breath leaving her as emotion caught up. He never failed to surprise her, especially with his rare romantic moments. This meant so much to her.

"Dancing in the moonlight with my beautiful wife." Danny murmured into her ear, "What could be more magical?"

"Danny..." Alice's voice cracked as she whispered his name, "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It was nothing..." Danny replied, "I just wanted you to have a great night and, I wanted to give you something to fight for." He paused and looked down at her, smiling as he saw her confusion, "When you're better we'll dance again under the moon and stars - in Africa, at Leopards Den."

"That's emotional blackmail." Alice smirked causing him to laugh, "Seriously, Danny, thank you. You found the song, you found this place... You amaze me, day in and day out. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Danny said nothing but simply kissed her deeply, holding her close before pulling back. He sighed as he once more pulled her into his arms, inhaling the scent of her perfume and fruity shampoo.

"I love you." Alice told him sincerely, looking into his eyes.

"As I love you." Danny replied, kissing her once more. "But it's time for us to make a move..."

"Back to reality." Alice smiled as they walked hand in hand back to the car. "It's a perfect reality though."

"Of course." Danny replied as he opened the car door for her, helping her in.

As he climbed in and shut the door, Alice smiled. She'd be ok, she'd be fine.

"Hey Danny..." Alice murmured as he started the car, "I look forward to the African version."

Her Husband said nothing, he simply smiled, kissing her hand as he gazed into her blue eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

Alice felt sick, physically sick as she sat upon the rock hard hospital bed awaiting her time to come. Danny was sat by her side reading the newspaper. She smiled slightly as she observed him - he was frowning ever so slightly as he scanned the pages, his green eyes changing slightly as he read different articles. Sometimes she could see shock, other times humour and then sometimes she'd sense disgust or elation. Alice sighed as she thought back to last night when they'd danced in the moonlight. She wondered if he knew how that little romantic gesture had helped her, inspired her even. He'd given her something to fight for whilst at the same time lifting her spirits. She felt ready to go into any battle.

"Penny for your thoughts." Danny whispered as he placed his newspaper down on the side.

"Was just thinking about you..." Alice replied, "How cute you look reading a newspaper." She added cheekily, squeezing his hand as he blushed slightly, looking down smirking.

"You feeling ok?" Danny enquired softly, rubbing his thumb over the top of her knuckles. His green eyes meeting hers.

"Yeh, bit nervous but I'm feeling ready. You really helped me you know last night... I can't tell you what it means. Thank you." Alice told him, her voice low and soft as she spoke to him.

"No thank you..." Danny told her passionately before both fell into a comfortable silence.

"You won't forget about Charlotte's guitar lesson will you?" Alice asked him breaking the silence that had consumed them for a few moments, "Or Robbie's routine. I mean, I wrote it on a post-it and stuck it on the fridge but I know you're gonna be busy and-"

"Alice..." Danny laughed taking her face into both of his large hands, "Relax, I've got it under control!" He chuckled as she blushed slightly, smiling sheepishly, "I also haven't forgotten about the school trip money... Seriously, everything will be fine."

"I know, I know," Alice smiled sheepishly, "I just wanted to make sure. Sorry... I know you'll be fine." She sighed as she took his hand, entwining them gently. "Will you do one thing for me though?" He nodded, placing his hand on top of hers. "Will you take Charlie's mind off it? Do something with her... I don't want her stewing on it all too much."

"Of course I will." Danny promised, "Everything will be ok."

At that moment the anesthesiologist walked in. Alice glanced to Danny, squeezing his hand as he stood up.

"I'll be here when you wake up..." Danny promised her before leaning down and kissing her deeply but with a hidden promise lying beneath it, "I love you... see you when you wake up." He whispered, kissing her once more.

"Love you too..." She whispered before both turned their attention to the woman in front of them. Danny held her hand, an unspoken promise he wouldn't leave until she was under. "Hey."

"Hello..." She began before quickly running through the procedure.

(x)

Danny ran a hand through his short hair as he left the hospital. He'd stayed with Alice until she'd gone to theatre and then he'd left, well aware that the time for picking up Charlotte from school and Robert from nursery was approaching. Once in the car, he rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment gathering his thoughts, before exhaling and starting the engine. He had to carry on now and let the doctors take care of his wife.

It only took him twenty minutes to get to Charlotte's school. His mind quickly drifted to Alice as he waited for her daughter to rush out and into the car. She was such a strong woman but that didn't mean she was invincible - not for one minute. She could put a front on, of course she could, she'd done it so many times before. In the past he may not have noticed but now he couldn't help but notice when she was pretending all was fine when in reality it was not.

His musings were broken as the car door opened and closed in quick succession. He turned and smiled at Charlotte, who before he could even greet her began to ask about her mum.

"She's ok, she was being really well cared for when I left." Danny assured her as he started the engine, "She'll be a hundred percent fine..."

"Good." Charlotte replied as he set off. She sighed and looked out of the window. It would be so weird without her Mum at home. She loved Danny, of course she did, but she was so used to having her Mum there to talk to she knew it would be strange without her.

"I was thinking Charlie..." Danny began after a few minutes of silence, "Your Uncle Rowan mentioned coming up to see Robbie. Do you want to go to the cinema and watch a movie?"

"Sure..." Charlotte replied smiling, "That'd be great." She enthused.

"Great." Danny grinned back, "We'll head down about six thirty. Any ideas on what you want to see?"

"Ted!" Charlotte grinned with enthusiasm.

"You aren't old enough love, it's a fifteen."

"You are so boring, you could so totally lie..."

"I could, but I won't." Danny laughed, "How about Brave?" He suggested as he pulled up outside the nursery.

"I'd rather watch Ice Age 4!" Charlotte replied as they both jumped out the car, she waited for Danny to lock it before continuing, "It looks well good."

"Ice Age it is." Danny confirmed as they walked into the nursery together.

Danny grinned as he saw Robert putting his building blocks in a tower on the floor. Upon hearing Charlotte greet one of the nursery teachers, Robert turned, shouting in his own language, a huge grin splitting across his face as he spotted his father and sister.

"Hello Robbie." Danny cooed, picking him up and kissing his forehead, "You had a nice day at nursery?" He sang as Robert laughed, grabbing hold of his dad's collar and hiding his face in his chest. "How's he been?" Danny directed at his nursery teacher, Anne.

"Excellent as usual." She smiled, "He's had all his usuals..."

"Great, see you tomorrow." Danny replied as he and Charlotte walked out with Robert. Danny quickly began to strap into the car, smiling as Robert stubbornly refused to put bend his arm. "You have Mummy's temper hmm?" He chuckled as his son scowled before finally bending his arm allowing himself to be fastened in.

The drive home wasn't a long one but it was a painful one. Robert cried the majority of the way home and even upon arriving home, he only let up his screams for ten minutes before he began again, obviously wanting Alice. Danny sighed as he walked around with him, trying to get him to settle. He was anxious that he'd promised Charlotte the trip to the cinema but equally he couldn't leave Rowan to deal with Robbie like this.

"Come on son, for Daddy..." Danny whispered as he bounced him, "Mummy won't be here for a few days so you'll have to put up with me..."

Robert continued regardless. Charlotte watched from the door, leaning her head on the frame. She knew now that Danny wouldn't be able to keep his promise to her. He'd probably forgotten by now. She smiled half heartedly as she noticed Danny turn. He smiled back softly.

"You look just like your Mum stood there..." Danny told her softly as Robert finally let up, clutching to his Dad's t-shirt.

"I wish I looked like Mum..." Charlotte replied with a slight laugh, "She's beautiful - to have her eyes."

"You are beautiful Charlotte." Danny insisted.

"You have to say that." Came her retort as she moved over to him, "You know, if Robert's being difficult then..."

"Charlotte. As soon as he's down and Rowan's here we are going to the cinema. I promised you. Besides, Rowan has had this visit planned long before we knew your Mum would be in hospital. From after today, I admit I'm going to be busy for the next six weeks and in particular the next few days, but I don't want you to suffer because of that." He stopped, "I'll try my best Charlie but he's a baby. He can't do anything for himself yet... he's going to take up a lot of my time and no matter how hard I try to be equal and fair, cutting the crap I won't be able to."

"I know..." Charlotte confessed, shocked by Danny's honesty. "I just thought, you know with him being yours and..."

"Charlotte." Danny said sternly stopping her in her tracks. "You are mine too."

"Not bio..."

"Don't say it." Danny replied, "You are mine in the ways that count. You are as much my daughter as if you'd have been my own."

"Thanks Danny." Charlotte grinned, hugging him tightly, being careful not to jostle a sleeping Robert who was content in his father's arms. "I'm glad Mum married you."

"I'm pretty pleased myself!" He laughed, "She'll be alright Charlie."

"I know she will." Charlotte answered, "She has you..."

**A/N - Aww, Bit of bonding going on. So, Danny's on his own with Robert and Charlie. Question is will he be ok or will he struggle? **


	16. Chapter 16

Danny exhaled tiredly as Robert threw his porridge about and Charlotte ran around with a piece of toast half hanging out of her mouth as she attempted to get ready for school. On top of that, he himself was trying to get ready for work - he had a few hours in today and he had to be there as soon as he'd dropped Charlie at school and Robert at nursery.

"Robbie, come on, eat it up." Danny told him, picking up the spoon. Robert turned away, shouting for Alice. Danny sighed. He'd been without her less than forty eight hours. She wouldn't even be awake yet and he was losing the will to live.

"Danny! Where's my homework?" Charlotte shouted.

"I don't know, wherever you left it." Danny replied, "Right come on then." He exclaimed, picking up Robert and cleaning him up. He'd have to tidy the house later, right now he had no time at all for this. "Charlotte come on, hurry up!" Danny shouted.

"I need my phone!" She shouted back, Danny rolled his eyes.

"Well get it quickly or else we're all going to be late." Danny called back.

Two minutes later and they were all finally in the car, Danny was driving through the rush hour traffic, cursing it every time they had to stop. Eventually, he arrived at Charlotte's school, and smiled warmly as she climbed out.

"See you tonight." She grinned,

"Bye sweetheart, have a good day at school. Text me if there's any problems with the buses or anything." Danny told her, watching her walk off before starting the short journey to Robert's nursery. He would get to work on time and then go and see his wife if it killed him!

(x)

Five hours later after a short but hectic hour stint at the surgery, Danny arrived at the hospital. He wondered how Alice was and if she'd woken up yet. She'd come through her operation fine but now the challenge was the recovery. He knew now how impossible it was going to be to get her to sit down and relax - especially with him having to do some work to keep their heads above water. The ideal thing would be too move back to Leopards Den but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

It wasn't long before he found himself outside Alice's room. He took a deep breath before walking in and smiled wider than he thought he could as he noticed her sat up awake. She looked tired and pale but nothing could warm his heart more than just seeing her awake.

"Hey you." He beamed, walking over to her and kissing her lips gently, "How you feeling?"

"Bit sore and groggy but I'm ok, how are you?" She replied, taking his hand as he sat down.

"All the better for seeing you awake." Danny replied, "How long've you been up?"

"Woke up this morning." Alice responded, "Doctor said my surgery went well and now it's all about the recovery. I'll be ready for home in a couple of days too."

"Good." Danny responded, kissing her hand, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, and the kids." Alice replied, "How've they been?"

"Hardwork!" Danny laughed, "Robert has really missed you."

"Well, I'll be back soon." Alice responded, "I know it's hard for you... trying to balance everything. You really don't have to come and see me you know..."

"Alice, stop." Danny said sternly, "Of course I do. Yes, it's hectic but you are my wife, in sickness and in health. Besides, if the roles were reversed... even though they couldn't be biologically, but if they were... you'd be here for me."

Alice said nothing, simply smiled as he kissed her hand once more. She couldn't believe just how lucky she was to have such a brilliant man by her side. Yes, he could be an idiot, but it was times like this she remembered why she fell in love with him in the first place.

"Sweetheart, I've got to go and get Robbie. I'll bring the kids later ok?" Danny said, checking his watch, "You should sleep, you look tired."

"Thanks Mr Charmer." Alice droned, "No, you go, I'll see you in a couple of hours." She smiled before kissing him gently and settling down. Danny waved until both were out of one another's sight.

(x)

"What's going on?" Caroline asked as she noticed Rosie hurriedly throwing clothes into a bag.

"I'm going to the UK." Rosie responded. "Dad and Alice need me. I've arranged a locum to arrive in an hour... he'll look after everything."

"Rosie, your dad..."

"Needs me." Rosie responded, "My flights in a couple of hours time, do you have the address?"

"Yes," Caroline sighed, "But I'm not sure you should just go, maybe you ought to call ahead..."

"I'll tell him when I get there." Rosie stated, "I'm going." She insisted.

Caroline sighed and scribbled the address down on a piece of paper. She just hoped Rosie was doing the right thing.


End file.
